Family...

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Family means a lot to us...either blood or brought together by the Holy Spirit...I love my family so much. It hurts me when they hurt. It hurts when you feel you've caused it. I feel like my "dad" is hurting so much that he has lost some of his love for me or maybe doesn't want anything to do with me ever again...We had to depart ways for a bit due to some stress that was in a situation and my health was getting down. My heart aches right now. I just love him so much and I pray he knows that. I want what is best for him and his wife and want him to be the best man God has created him to be. He will always be a "dad" to me...that will never change even if his feelings for me as a "daughter" do.

I'm praying for strength during this time. I'm praying for healing for a situation. I know God can mend any situation and I am praying hard for that very thing. I pray God comforts my "dad" during this time and I pray he draws his strength from Him. This will probably be my last post specifically addressing my "dad". It brings up so many memories that are wonderful that my heart just can't take right now. When you have experienced something so wonderful as the love of a "dad" and then you can't pursue that for a time, it feels like your guts are ripped out. If the good Lord decides to mend all the relationships involved I will certainly update with a praise.

Relying on our good Lord to comfort me and bring me through this time...

Comments

  1. cmarieMarch 23, 2010 at 6:38 AM

    Be care filled and attentive to whom your affections are directed toward my friend, as a child I always hoped someone would want to adopt me and love me. I so needed a caring parent to be kind with me. Maybe just like you did. I will take a different approach to this prayer need by praying that this "dad" asks God to forgive him for stirring up all of this confusion in your (inner child) heart. Forgive me if I am too bold for saying so and if you prefer to hold this comment back from publishing I will not be offended my friend. I hope the Son shines warm n' bright on our day today :)

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  2. UnknownMarch 23, 2010 at 8:21 AM

    Thank you for your prayers...It's amazing how much you miss the love of a dad. But, I guess I'm learning I need to rely on the love of the Father more and understand it more. It's hard because the Father is not physically here to do things with or hug. I guess I need to do some more studying on God as a Father and not just our Savior. :)

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  3. UnknownMarch 23, 2010 at 9:59 AM

    Maybe the reason God has not allowed me to be a daughter is because I'm not a very good one...Maybe I'm not worthy of an earthly father...

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  4. UnknownMarch 23, 2010 at 11:52 AM

    Ok...so that last comment was through tears...I know that it is not true...I just have to pray that time will mend relationships and we all will be able to come back together with love for each other and a stronger relationship with God. I will always love my "dad" and I pray his love for me hasn't changed. Since we agreed to no contact until things with him and his wife are better, I won't know if that has changed or not until we have contact again. I know he told me that would never change no matter what, but, through my life I know that love for me as a daughter can change. I just hope it hasn't. I continually pray for them...as we stated in our last meeting...when they are ready, they can contact us...and it wasn't a permanent thing...hoping it's not so very long, but I know it's in God's time.

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