Prairie Oak Homestead

It's not about me. Trying to stay positive with no sleep last night and weak muscles. I can easily think about myself, but I really don't want to. I want to focus on Him and allow Him to continue to do His work in me. I will just pray that I will have strength and energy despite the restless night. Not sure what the restlessness was about, but I felt like something was hovering over me (not literally) Ryan wants me to wait until he is laid off to have surgery in late Dec or early Jan despite my pain, etc. He wants to be here to look after me and also doesn't want to be at work thinking about me. So out of respect, it looks like I may have to wait for surgery. It would be nice to have it over and done, but I don't want him to be stressed. What's a couple more months if it makes my husband more comfortable? When I see the doc next month for the biopsy, then I will let her know then. If she still highly recommends it to be done sooner, then I may. It can be h

From Elisabeth Elliot Someone asked last week, "When Jim died was your walk with the Lord close enough that His love and comfort and presence were sufficient at all times--or did grief and sorrow at times overtake and overwhelm you?" My answer is yes to both questions. It is not an either-or matter. The psalmist, overwhelmed, prayed, "Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I" (Ps 61:2 AV). Paul, plagued by a thorn, besought the Lord three times to remove it. Jesus, "horror-stricken and desperately depressed," prayed "O My Father--if it be possible..." (Mk 14:34,36). Of none of these--the psalmist, the apostle, the Lord--could it be said that his walk with God was not close enough. There was human suffering and divine sufficiency. This is the story of our life. The promise is "My grace is sufficient" (2 Cor 12:9 AV), not "My grace will abolish your thorns." Came across this today and found it interesting. We all know

Today was a good day. Enjoyed a sweet breeze today while helping friends move. Enjoyed good conversation and a blessing that was given. Looking forward to good sleep...

"Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience." Ralph Waldo Emerson This would be one of our family mottoes. Our family suffers when we are unable to slow down. The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. So many things going on, some drama, running to and fro, etc. It seems like I haven't even talked to my husband in that amount of time. We finished up one project last night that was taking up most of our time, so things should start to slow down....hopefully. I know this life is not about me. It's about Him. It can be so difficult to focus on Him when there are so many distractions swirling around. Sometimes I wish I had a reset button. :) I feel like I haven't been able to digest scripture properly. It seems I read so many different verses that I can't keep them straight, remember them, or even try to apply them. It's like being so hungry and waiting so long to eat that when you do finally eat you eat so fast and don't even really

1.- Overlook husband’s faults, and instead focus on his better side. 2.- Never nag, or try to manipulate your husband into doing things your way. 3.- Trust God, and trust your husband. Pray for him daily. 4.- God first, husband second, children third, house fourth. 5.- Submit to your husband’s authority, and allow errors in his judgment. 6.- Allow him to provide for the family, and appreciate the money he brings in, and the provisions he provides for his family, no matter how little or how much. 7.- Spend your husband’s hard earned money wisely, and be frugal. Never sneak expenses behind his back. 8.- Do not wound his masculine pride. Instead, compliment him on his manly accomplishments, and show your appreciation of him every day. 9.- A modest, feminine appearance is important. As is feminine manner, nature, softness, gentleness, and a spirit of sweet submission and dependency on the husband. 10.- You have a God-given career that can bless you abundantly. That career is in the ho

She brings him good, not harm all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12 A lovely portrait of a true and noble wife: "She delights him with her company and conversation, sustains him with her strength, stimulates and sharpens him with her wisdom and intelligence, emboldens him with her praise, bolsters him with her cheerfulness, comforts him with her love, and heartens him with her courage." -The Botkin Sisters , Biblical Femininity

I finally got my results back today. The doctor called me herself. There was no cancer in my ovaries. :) Yay! But, my blood work revealed that my blood sugar is high. NO! I love goodies. That's what I do, I bake. Looks like I won't be able to eat much of it anymore. My body isn't liking it. I found out, too, that it's not good on your immune system. We went to eat last night with friends to surprise my brother's fiance and two friends were trying to get me to stop eating sugar then...I told them that I'm addicted and that I would probably go through withdraws. Now it looks like I just might have to give it up...at least mostly. ;) The doctor wants me to come in next month to see about a possible endometrial biopsy and talk about scheduling the surgery. She said that she couldn't sleep that night after my visit and she was really concerned. She told me she doesn't want me to die and that the old doctor really put me in jeopardy by not doing wha

I put up a new poll on the side bar on the right. Be sure to vote! :) Curious to know how others spend their time relaxing in the evenings...

“Do the womens liberationists want to be liberated from being women? No, they would say, they want to be liberated from society’s stereotypes of what women are supposed to be…. Some very interesting facts have been uncovered by scientists which feminists will have to treat very gingerly for they show that it is not merely society which determines how the sexes will behave…. The idea of matriarchy is mythical, I’ve learned, for not one that can be documented has ever existed. Doesn’t it seem strange that male dominance has been universal if it’s purely social conditioning? One would expect to see at least a few examples of societies where women rather than men held the positions of highest status…. Isn’t’ it really much easier to believe that the feelings of men and women throughout history bear a direct relationship to some innate prerequisite? … It was God who made us different, and He did it on purpose. Recent scientific research is illuminating, and as has happened be

Are you a pleaser of God or a pleaser of man? This question is on my mind often. I think about the actions that guide me through the course of my day and if in the end was it pleasing to God---or not. Man looks on the outside but the Lord checks our hearts. We constantly need to check our motives: Do we buy clothes/vehicles/home/decorate with God in mind or to impress and keep up with our friends (even when we can't afford it)? What about our families? Do we make choices for them based on pressures from other family members or well-intentioned friends, while suppressing that little voice in our heart, and knowing that is not what we would have really chosen to do? What about when we are with friends? Are we afraid to say the truth sometimes? I know that there is a time to speak and a time to be silent---I am not talking about that. I am talking about sharing God's truth when He makes an opportunity available and not worrying what a person thinks about you. And how

It's Monday...and it's busier than normal. I have to go to the church to volunteer, home for lunch, off to the store to get groceries, then to go have an ultrasound to see if my (sorry guys) uterus is ok to have a biopsy next month and to look at my (sorry guys) ovaries. I should get some test results back today that would show if I have ovarian cancer or not. Then next month we will see if the cancer had spread into my uterus. I'm praying the cancer stayed in one place and that none was left behind and it didn't spread. Time will tell, it always does. ;) If all that comes back good, then I will have a hysterectomy in January. Let me tell you, I will be glad when that is all done and gone. I take really good care of my body, so I'm praying that my way of eating all natural has helped in that department. Once that is gone, I pray I never see cancer again. But, only God knows what the future holds. Keeping my Myasthenia Gravis under control is another feat.

I love art that displays a mother being gentle with her children, beautiful motherhood touches lives around us in powerful ways and the influence runs deep. I am always so inspired by gentle mothers that I see around me. Their gentle voices, their unnerving patience---all traits I so desire to greatly cultivate in myself. If we are to "love our children" the world around us should be able to validate Gods Word as true by being around us and seeing that our interaction with our children affirms that. "Let your gentleness be evident to all." Phillipians 4:5 If we are to raise sons and daughters that will also love their children, it is imperative that it is modeled it for them. How many times have your caught yourself raising your voice to your children and have found them doing or saying exactly what you were doing later that day? They mimic all that we do, so from the minute we awake we must practice what I call 'purposeful parenting'. Everyth

What do you do with a son who has been being lazy? Found out today that his work at the church as started to become lazy. He doesn't put effort into it anymore and has to be motivated to get a job done. I thought he was only doing that here. But, I guess I was wrong. It has spilled over into his everyday life. :( Some time ago, I felt that he lost his desire to care. He just doesn't have a drive to do anything. As a mom, it is really hard for me to watch. I want him to grow up with a good work ethic, integrity, stick-to-itiveness, drive, etc. I'm hoping this is just a stage, but I've seen it in my brother. They are a lot alike. I fear it could be related to technology. I know I've said it before, but I really do. He has an ipod he plays with during the day and also a laptop. I guess we are going to have to limit him on those again. We need to pour more of ourselves into him. I know it's going to be hard at first, he won't like some of the ch

Getting ready to do some baking today. We are having a small cookout tonight. I pray the weather holds out. Looking forward to sitting on the porch and eating some smoked ribs. :) Would love to get together soon with other family and maybe play spades. :) I miss that.... I encourage you to enjoy every moment you have. Make the best of every situation and grow and grow some more in Christ. Tell the ones you love you love them, hug them, give them you, just savor every moment. I know I do. :) I am thankful for all God has provided. He has been very gracious to me, providing things/people exactly when I need it/them. I have learned so much from those people he has blessed me with. I just pray I can be a blessing to them in return. Gosh, I'm rambling now...sometimes my heart just seeps out. ;) Enjoy your weekend!

Prayer for Our Children Father, hear us, we are praying, Hear the words our hearts are saying, We are praying for our children. Keep them from the powers of evil, From the secret, hidden peril, From the whirlpool that would suck them, From the treacherous quicksand, pluck them. From the worldling’s hollow gladness, From the sting of faithless sadness, Holy Father, save our children. Through life’s troubled waters steer them, Through life’s bitter battle cheer them, Father, Father, be Thou near them. Read the language of our longing, Read the wordless pleadings thronging, Holy Father, for our children. And wherever they may bide, Lead them Home at eventide. Amy Carmichael What to Do About Feelings Do not debunk feelings as such. Remember they are given to us as part of our humanity. Do not try to fortify yourself against emotions. Recognize them; name them, if that helps; and then lay them open before the Lord for His training of your responses. The discipline of emotions is the trainin

For feelings come and feelings go, And feelings are deceiving; My warrant is the Word of God, Naught else is worth believing. Though all my heart should feel condemned For want of some sweet token, There is One greater than my heart Whose word cannot be broken. I’ll trust in God’s unchanging word Till soul and body sever; For, though all things shall pass away, His word shall stand forever Author unknown I put my trust in Him. He is my strength and my joy. I am thankful for people He puts in my life to show me Himself. He does that through others. We all have a job to do. Each one is different from another, but every job is important and should glorify God. God wants us to be obedient to Him and the portion He has poured out for us. I will serve Him all of my days and allow Him to show Himself to others through me. He wants to be known intimately. My husband and brother will be working on my brother's truck this afternoon. I'll be cleaning the chicken coop, washing wi

I haven't done much today except dishes, laundry, and mowing. Sort of a lazy day here...I was so exhausted when I woke up this morning. I think the news from the doctor yesterday took a bit of a toll on me physically. I was shaking when I got home from the doc yesterday and I think it was fear that I wouldn't let come out, so it came out in my hands. ;) That being said, I was wore out and still am a bit today. I didn't feel like doing too much today and I am looking forward to relaxing with the captain tonight. He isn't home yet and when he gets here he will have a hot supper and then on to relaxing. :) We may find ourselves at Sam's though. We need a few things... I know this may sound crazy, but have you thought about what you would say to people if you were on your deathbed? I have. I often wonder why I don't say them now. In some instances, I am unable, but the instances I am, I should. Something I've been pondering... Hunter has horseback ri

Father, I know that all my life Is portioned out for me, And the changes that are sure to come I do not fear to see; I ask Thee for a present mind, Intent on pleasing Thee. I would not have the restless will That hurries to and fro, Seeking for some great thing to do Or secret thing to know; I would be treated as a child And guided where I go. Wherever in the world I am, In whatsoever estate, I have a fellowship with hearts To keep and cultivate. 1850's hymn by Anna Waring

Went to visit a new doctor for some recurring problems I've been having. She was very nice and thorough. She was alarmed when I told her I had cancer and the doctor didn't do a hysterectomy. She thought I was mistaken about the diagnosis and I told her I knew for sure, but she was more than welcome to look it up on the records. She did. I had cancer. Because of several problems since, she is astonished that the doctor never did a hysterectomy. (which is the treatment for that type of cancer) So, she is doing more tests (ultrasound, biopsy of uterus, blood work, and testing for ovarian cancer), but said that I will need to have a hysterectomy. The biopsy is to see if cancer has gone to the uterus. She said my chances of survival get lower and lower if I don't. She also said I had a 1 in 3 chance of the cancer becoming invasive (all over) Not good. She was visibly upset and said I was just too young for such trials. So, that being said, it looks like I'm going

A question came up on James 1:27 about keeping oneself polluted from the world and some ways of doing that. How about not watching tv? We went tv free for 6 months and it was really great. It was also mentioned what we would do if we didn't watch tv in the evenings. Reading, playing board games, studying the Word together, doing projects around the house, talking, just spending time together that isn't diluted with the tv, etc are some ideas. Our small group all decided to go tv free on Saturday. We wouldn't watch tv the whole day and then talk about what we did instead, was it productive, was it worth it, etc. Should be interesting. I am all for not having tv, always have been. But, the captain enjoys History channel, Discovery, etc. But, in the evenings that is what takes his time. He is tired from work and flops down on the couch and watches tv. I would love to be tv free again. If you are tv free, what are some things you do to occupy yourself in the evening

"This sickness is not unto death." --John 11:4 From our Lord's words we learn that there is a limit to sickness. Here is an "unto" within which its ultimate end is restrained, and beyond which it cannot go. Lazarus might pass through death, but death was not to be the ultimatum of his sickness. In all sickness, the Lord saith to the waves of pain, "Hitherto shall ye go, but no further." His fixed purpose is not the destruction, but the instruction of His people. Wisdom hangs up the thermometer at the furnace mouth, and regulates the heat. 1. The limit is encouragingly comprehensive. The God of providence has limited the time, manner, intensity, repetition, and effects of all our sicknesses; each throb is decreed, each sleepless hour predestined, each relapse ordained, each depression of spirit foreknown, and each sanctifying result eternally purposed. Nothing great or small escapes the ordaining hand of Him who numbers the hairs of our head. 2. This li

Well, I didn't make it into church today. I was too woosy (is that a word?) I was hurting so much that I took something for my tummy and the pain and it knocked me out for 3 hours. Yikes! I woke up with no headache though, but still drowsy. So glad for no more head pain. It's the worst. You can't massage it away like other pain... Roasting a chicken for supper and having rice and green beans with it. I'm starving. :) Hungrier than a hostage I tell ya. I woke up from my nap that way. Ate 4 pieces of toast and a bowl of cereal. Still hungry... I am thankful for love that continues and doesn't fade even over periods of time apart from others. That is a special kind of love. One that you can carry into eternity with you. It's good to be able to give that kind of love, too. It has God written all over it, for He is love. I pray everyone enjoys their evening. Ours have finally started to cool down and I will very much enjoy sitting on the porch again l

Woke up to another migraine this morning. :( It hurts so bad and is doing a number on my tummy. I'm supposed to volunteer at church this morning and I'm not sure if that's going to happen or not. I hate to disappoint them. We'll see how the morning goes... On a good note, I had a wonderful supper with some great people last night. I laughed a lot and it was nice. Something I missed... Well, I'm gonna try and feel better....hope you all have a great day. :)

Building up our home is done in many ways. We can cook, clean and organize until our heads our spinning but literally 'tear down' our homes with the way we communicate making all our other 'building efforts' in vain. We communicate three major ways: 1. Verbally 2. Body language (example: rolling eyes, folded arms) 3. Tone of voice We can inspire our families to change the world or tear them down in a heartbeat if we are not carefully choosing our words--just as the verse says: "The tongue holds the power of life and death."- Proverbs 18:21 Are we bringing life to our homes or death? Are we slashing our husband to pieces with our words and screaming at our little children (who are probably unsaved and need the Lord?) WORDS A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A brutal world may smite and kill. A gracious word may smooth the way. A joyous word may light the day. A timely word may lessen stress. A loving word may heal and b

It’s not so much what you say As the manner in which you say it; It’s not so much the language you use As the tone in which you convey it; “Come here!” I sharply said, And the child cowered and wept. “Come here,” I said- He looked and smiled And straight to my lap he crept. Words may be mild and fair And the tone may pierce like a dart; Words may be soft as the summer air But the tone may break my heart; For words come from the mind Grow by study and art- But tone leaps from the inner self Revealing the state of the heart. Whether you know it or not, Whether you are mean or care, Gentleness, kindness, love and hate, Envy, anger, are there. Then, would you quarrels avoid And peace and love rejoice? Keep anger not only out of your words - Keep it out of your voice. Author Unknown Certainly something to think about...

Yesterday I made Watermelon Lemonade. It was good and refreshing. I suggest you try it. :) Here's the recipe: 9 c watermelon 15 oz bottled lemon juice 3/4 c to 1 c sugar water Blend watermelon and lemon juice in blender. Pour into gallon pitcher. Add water to fill pitcher. Add sugar and stir. That's it! :) We went to Whole Foods in Missouri and got some different foods we haven't tried before. We got some different cheeses that are delicious. Last night we tried our Blueberry Maple Country breakfast sausage...wonderful good it was! After supper we decided to try the young coconut we bought. All I can say is YUCK! It was weird. Give me a fully developed coconut anytime. This was like pudding consistency and had no coconut flavor. Ewww...But, at least we tried it. I'm dedicating this day to the Lord and I'm going to really try and do that for all my days. It is a giant effort for me to not be focused on self immediately upon waking. The very moment I ope

An idol can be anything. It may even be a good thing. But if we want it so badly that we sin if we don't get it or sin to attain it, then we are worshiping an idol rather than Christ. Each of us is worshiping something or someone within our heart every waking moment of each day. Believers have a God-given capacity to have a pure devotion to and worship of the Lord, but they frequently struggle with other "gods." How a wife's husband behaves or treats her can easily become an idol even to the point of displacing the Lord as her deepest affection and longing. Some common idols wives may have in their heart are.... Good health Appearance Being treated fairly Having a hurt free life Having children Money Success Others' approval As long as things are going well in the areas you have your heart set on, you will feel alright. When they do not turn out as you may desire, frustration and perhaps anxiety begin to build even to the point of depression. You become wil

It's good to be back home. I slept in my own bed last night and it was wonderful! :) I enjoyed the vacation, but didn't enjoy the big city. Not much of a city person. The captain and I feel like we need a vacation from our vacation. ;) Hunter enjoyed the buildings and seeing the arch, but didn't enjoy the traffic. It is really hot here again this week and I am concerned for my husband and his coworkers. As roofers they are more susceptible to heat exhaustion. I know they will take lots of breaks. Just praying they all have wisdom on these hot days. I'm trying to get back into the groove of daily life. I need to go to the grocery store today and get some laundry done. Sometime this week I'd like to get my schedule set for homeschooling. I went over the curriculum the other day and think Hunter will enjoy learning different things this year. I'll be ending each post with a way a wife can glorify her husband. Here's one for today.... Talk about h

Let's see....it started out a bit rough and ended a bit rough. (I'll get to the end in a bit) But, the middle was good. :) It started with us not getting the hotel room we booked. Tiny beds. They couldn't fix it because the entire hotel was booked. So we made due. The first night we went to the pool to "relax". Huh...right...LOL. Ten thousand kids...everywhere. I tried to get in the hot tub and did for a bit until I couldn't take being "bombed" by the kids that were jumping in. The hot tub no less! We gave up and went to relax in our little room. The next day they upgraded us to a suite for no extra charge. It was much nicer. :) We were getting ready to head to Grant's Farm and my husband was trying to iron a shirt and the iron spewed rusty water all over it and it stained. He was frustrated, but the hotel had it dry cleaned. After all that, we prayed about it and went on to Grant's Farm. Hunter was a little excited. :) The Captai

We are leaving today to head down to the St. Louis area. We will be visiting Grant's Farm, Meramec Caverns, and the zoo. It will be nice to relax at the hotel, too. :) Hot tub, here I come! I'm looking forward to making memories with Hunter and celebrating part of his 13th birthday there. He's growing up so fast. This is the book we are giving him for his birthday. It is a wonderful book to give a teenage boy. It was written by a Mennonite man and talks about good character, integrity, being a godly man, all sorts of good stuff. If you have teenage boys, I suggest you check it out. You can find it on Amazon or Rod and Staff Publishers. I pray everyone enjoys their weekend. Praying God gives me strength to enjoy my family this weekend. I am going to rest each night this weekend after our treks. I want to continue to feel good and not exacerbate my illness. I love when I feel good and can be present in my family's life to participate and not just watch and wish

Our cat had kittens yesterday. :) Her last litter did not survive. This litter seems to be doing ok so far. I was there when the first one appeared. :) Did you know forgiveness doesn't really have to do with the other person as much as it has to do with your relationship with God? When someone asks you to forgive them, you must. God commands it. Matthew 6:14-15 True forgiveness releases you from the bondage of anger and fear. Likewise, when you ask for forgiveness it releases you from the bondage of anger and fear, among other things. It works both ways. God really understands that we as Christians need to forgive and be forgiven of each other. It was awesome to see God work yesterday when the captain and I were asked to forgive someone. We did. Although, the relationship is not as deep as we would like, we are still thankful that there is again a relationship to enjoy. May God be glorified in that and may I be content in that. Trying to get ready to go on vacation

I slept better last night except for hoping my husband didn't wake up in the night with a leg cramp. He didn't. He got those out before we went to bed. He worked in a heat index of 112 yesterday from 7 am to 6 pm. Ugh. He's a roofer and so it was even hotter on the roof. He drank plenty of fluids during work and then when he got home, but that didn't prevent the leg cramps. It did prevent heat exhaustion though. I hope today is better. They may not work very late today because his boss found out that another worker stopped sweating yesterday and didn't tell anyone. Sheesh. This has been one of the hottest summers I can remember here in central Illinois. I continue to feel stronger now taking the natural immunomodulator. So glad it is working. Trying not to let the stress of my mom get to me. She is doing things that are hurtful and it saddens me that I have a mom who doesn't really care for her daughter. I'm just glad I have mom's in the ch

It always interests me when I lose sleep even when I try not to. I woke up at 2 am and had a really hard time going back to sleep. My mind just wouldn't shut off. The captain and I were waiting for a text message to tell us what time we needed to meet for a meeting and never received it. We weren't sure if our messages when through or if their's got lost somewhere. He woke up this morning for work and told me there was no word yet. Not sure what happened there. I am going to make some pound cake today, probably lemon. :) I also need to pickle some beets and do some housework. I think I'll recruit Hunter to help with vacuuming. We are working on refreshing his math skills before we officially start homeschooling again in Sept. I'm looking forward to schooling him again this year. This will be 8 yrs of homeschooling this year. :) We made our hotel reservations for this weekend in Missouri. We are taking a mini family vacation. We will be going to Meramec

can be a slow process, but I think I'm on my way. I was able to look at my husband this morning when he came into our room to kiss me goodbye. My eyes popped open and I could look into his face. The past couple weeks, this past week being the worst, my eyes were too weak to even open up fully to see him in the mornings. I am so thankful to be able to look into his face when he comes in and kisses me and tells me I'm a good wife. :) I started a natural immunomodulator a couple days ago and it seems to be slowly working. This may be something I need to take the rest of my days since I am strongly cautioned against the normal hospital treatments that modulate my immune system. It surely makes you aware of your own mortality. The way I felt the last week reminded me that life is short. No one really knows when our days here will end. All we can do is spend time with the ones we love as much as we can, hold on to the memories of those we can't, advance the Kingdom, serv