Prairie Oak Homestead

Today I start a new life (Lord willing) with less pain and suffering in one area of my life. :)  I leave today for surgery and I am ready for the Lord to work in my body through this.  I pray the surgery is sufficient and that no further treatment will be needed.  I pray for a speedy recovery and better days to come.  He has sustained me thus far and I know He is faithful to sustain me always.  I am so thankful to serve the God of comfort and mercy.  No matter the outcome, I know He has not forsaken me.  Even though there is still unsureness of what's in my cup, I have faith and trust in He who holds that cup...to Him be the glory.

This time tomorrow I will be at the hospital awaiting my surgery.  I don't know what the Lord has in store, but I do know I trust Him more and more every day.  He is my Rock and the One who brings me peace.  He has shown His love through other people.  It's neat to see God work. This liquid diet that they have me on for surgery prep is making me weak.  I thought it would.  I pray that I handle the anesthesia ok and I can eat soon after I wake up and get my bearings.  I'm starving!  Ok, enough of that talk...it's making me hungry. lol Hunter has been helping me clean the house today in preparation for when I won't be able to.  I think he enjoys dusting best. :)  I have sheets to put on the beds still, clothes to fold, and chickens to feed.  It will get done and I will hopefully get some rest tonight knowing everything is taken care of. ;) I am going to try and make the best of the rest I have been ordered to take.  I will be honest.  It's going to be hard f

By gracious powers so wonderfully sheltered, and confidently waiting come what may, we know that God is with us night and morning, and never fails to greet us each new day. Yet is this heart by its old foe tormented, still evil days bring burdens hard to bear; Oh, give our frightened souls the sure salvation for which, O Lord, You taught us to prepare. And when this cup You give is filled to brimming with bitter suffering, hard to understand, we take it thankfully and without trembling, out of so good and so beloved a hand. Yet when again in this same world You give us the joy we had, the brightness of Your Sun, we shall remember all the days we lived through, and our whole life shall then be Yours alone. ...written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer in the concentration camp, shortly before his death.  I want the strength he had during his trials.  To take the cup he was given without trembling.  What a blessing.  I will admit that there are some cups of suffering that are

Culture paints the successful woman with a briefcase in her hand, a smart suit, with an admirable six figure income stepping on anyone who gets in her way. But the truly successful woman has a deeper understanding of her calling for wisdom is her guide, the fruits of the spirit is her instructor and her rewards are of eternal significance, not just temporal. She knows that: 1. A woman’s foremost responsibility is in the home , making a success of marriage and family and therefore give her best to those she loves--by doing this she brings glory to God. 2. A woman can best serve her Lord and her country by rearing a successful family --but notice that I did not say a perfect family. Success translates into serving and respecting her husband the best that she can and nurturing disciples that will share God's word with the world. 3. The best workshop for training children in moral and spiritual values is in the home . The mother is the master teacher and she m

That's what I'm hoping to do tonight as I lay down to sleep.  Sometimes I feel alone in things.  I just need to be still and rest in Him.  Tomorrow will be a busy day for me. The last busy day before my surgery.  I volunteer at church, have to get pre-op blood work, grocery store, make soap, and take Hunter to a program at the library.  I need to cook supper after all that, but that will be my last supper to cook for a while. Bitter sweet.  It's also my husband's birthday tomorrow. :)  See ya in the morning...goodnight.

Helped load up a moving van (actually two, don't ask) for my mom this morning into the afternoon.  It was interesting.  She is moving to Wisconsin.  A lot of things transpired this week that broke my heart, none of which was her moving.  Going out to eat tonight with friends to one of my favorite restaurants, Biaggi's. It will be nice to relax and put some things behind me.  I'd like to focus on good things, like wonderful friends, a great church family, being loved as a daughter in a wonderful godly way by someone God has put in our life, a funny son, the beautiful day we had, and a healing spirit God has provided me to deal with the lot He has given.  My husband told me that he loved my fighting spirit.  He said he admires that I don't just give up on things.  I think my childhood has prepared me for the things I face now.  Funny how that works. ;) I hope everyone has enjoyed their Saturday.  I am plum tuckered out and ready for a good dinner and then a good night

Eighteen Ways a Wife May be the Glory of Her Husband 1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?" 2. Ask your husband, "How can I help you accomplish your goals?" 3. Ask "Is there anything that I can do to make it easier for you?" 4. Be organized with your housekeeping. Then your husband will be free to do his work. 5. Save energy for him everyday. 6. Put him first over children, parents friends, job, Ladies Bible studies, etc. 7. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary. 8. Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true. 9. Do whatever you can to help him succeed and accomplish his goals. (Ex: Run errands for him, pray for him, organize your day to be available to help him w/projects, make good suggestions--but don't be offended if he does not follow it.) 10. Consider his work (job, goals, hobbies, work for the Lord) as m

I haven't been sleeping well.  I just can't seem to rest.  I have so many things on my mind, so many people to pray for, and then there's that song that just won't leave my brain.  All this contributes to lack of sleep and pure exhaustion during the day.  I know it's God's strength that keeps me going.  I wouldn't be able to move one foot in front of the other right now if it weren't for Him. :)  It feels like everything is just a blur.  One week from today I will be having surgery, one that hopefully will change my life for the better.  I'm looking forward to all the benefits in the end. I've been struggling on how to deal with the pre-surgery jitters.  I normally would "displace" myself and just withdraw to another "place."  This is how I coped being sexually abused.  I was never "in" the moment.  When I am in excruciating pain, this is how I handle it.  I don't focus on it, but I "go somewhere else"

For a lesson in self-control? Went to the doctor today for some pre-op stuff.  Found out that I will have to be on clear liquids a day and a half before surgery. O.O Oh my...I get really hungry and this is going to be hard.  This is where self-control is going to come in.  Not focusing on my hunger and doing something else instead. It will be a test... Also found out that she decided she is not going to look at the biopsy there in the OR, but instead send it to the lab for analysis.  She said she won't be taking any lymph nodes because even if there is endometrial cancer, they wouldn't take nodes. They would just start chemo/radiation.  So the surgery won't be as invasive since they won't be taking any nodes. (which is good, better recovery)  I will find out a couple weeks later if I have endometrial cancer and not just cervical.  To quote Tom Petty, "The waiting is the hardest part".  But, another opportunity for self-control and to be content.  I'm p

I really like this song...I want to be consumed by Him from the inside out. He is near...Some days I just need a little encouragement and this song helps me to praise Him and bring it all back to Him. I love when we sing it at church.

Groceries and self-control... It takes a lot of self-control not to scream at the price of groceries.  Our budget has gone from $75 a week to $85 a week for 3 and it's still not enough! This week I spent a bit over $100! I do not buy junk food.  Well, not really.  My junk food purchases consist of tortilla chips and all natural fruit snacks. That's it.  It is just so aggravating that I cannot manage this better.  I feel like a useless helpmeet.  Even making our own groceries (laundry soap, instant oatmeal packets, applesauce, energy bars, chocolate syrup, etc) it is still costing us a fortune to eat well...healthy.  I'm sure if I bought all processed food and snacks our bill would be cheaper.  That's a travesty.  We wonder why our country as a whole is obese... What is your grocery budget? Feel free to answer the poll on the right.  What are some ways to keep your budget down?  I need tips.  I'm doing everything I feel I can, but I'm sure there's gotta b

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. " Galatians 5:22-23 Willpower is a forgotten word amidst most Christian circles today. Many of us are soft, flabby, and fat either outwardly or inwardly . . . or both .  The overindulgence and underachievement of our age have created a monster whose brain is lazy, vision is blurred, hands are greedy, skin is thin, middle is round, and seat is wide. Color him baby blue! What has spawned this strange, pillowy product? The Greeks would say: "A serious lack of enkrateia ." That isn't a vitamin, it's a virtue---self-control.  The word actually means "inner power or strength." Expanded, it includes such things as having mastery or possession of something, the controlling power of the will (under the operation of the Spirit of God), the inner strength to resist and refrain, the strength not to indulge, not to act on imp

These chocolate chip cookies aren't your average cookie.  They are lower in fat and low in sugar.  They even have a little added whole grain oats. :)  The bittersweet chocolate is what makes these. Ghiradelli Dark Chocolate Chip Cookies 1/2 c butter 1/2 c brown sugar 1/4 c evaporated cane juice 1 egg 1 1/2 t vanilla 1 c flour (I use gluten free blend) 1 t baking soda 3/4 t salt 1 t cinnamon 3/4 c quick oats 3/4 c Ghiradelli dark chocolate chips Beat butter, sugars, egg, and vanilla until fluffy.  Mix flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon together and mix to wet ingredients.  Stir in oats and chips.  Bake at 350 for 10 to 11 minutes. :) Mmmmmm....

I had the liberty of picking as many apples as I wanted the other day....I just picked too many! :)  I think my plans are a little bigger than my strength. ;)  I canned up some applesauce yesterday.  It takes me quite a while because I only have one peeler and I do this all by myself.  So only one batch is made at a time so I don't overdo it.  I still have 2 1/2 bushels to do up. :)  Hoping next week I can do a batch everyday except Monday. The beginning of something yummy. :) The final result is yummy applesauce to eat made with fresh picked apples. :) I've really been enjoying these cooler days.  Yesterday had such a beautiful breeze. (Don't laugh at this next thing I'm gonna say)  I stood out in the yard yesterday and closed my eyes.  The breeze was strong enough to steadily blow my hair.  I stood there imagining I was at the ocean and I could almost smell the salty air.  The breeze was just like it was at the ocean. It brought back some happy memories of runnin

This week has been an interesting one for me.  God has been revealing to me quite a bit about contentment.  I honestly thought I was a content person.  But, God has been showing me that I have only been content with His creation.  I didn't realize that I was discontent with so many things.  It really saddens me to think how ungrateful I have been with what He has provided.  I was finding that I wished that I was stronger, that our yard looked nicer, that my body would feel good, that my husband was more gentle and attentive, that my son made more effort in things, that I was in better shape like my friends, that I had a relationship with my dad that was "normal", better finances, great weather all the time, etc, etc....What a fool I am.  I realized when yesterday was such a pretty day and I found content it that, that I was putting my contentment in "things" and not Him.  I wondered to myself if it were raining would I be just as content.  Well, I want to say ye

“… I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13 (NIV) Five-year-old Jack was our next door neighbor. A blond-haired, brown-eyed spitfire whose favorite past time was to ride his bike. His rickety, red, girl’s Schwin bicycle had been handed down through several cousins before making its way into Jack’s garage and heart. Badly in need of repair, it didn’t matter to Jack. He proudly paraded that contraption up and down our block each afternoon. So imagine my surprise when one day, I happened upon Jack kicking his beloved bike as it lay on the ground. “What are you doing, buddy?” I questioned.” Stupid bike,’ he murmured still striking it with the toe of his tennis shoe. “Cool kids have a bright blue-- mud puppy-- dirt bike, not some dumb old, girl’s bike from their cousin.” And then, it dawned on me what day

  Made these today...They have a good amount of protein in them so I wanted to try them. Trail Bars. 1/2 c flour (I use gluten free blend) 1 t cinnamon 1/2 t baking soda 1/8 t salt 1/2 c peanut butter (smooth or crunchy) 1/2 c brown sugar 1/3 c honey 1 egg 2 egg whites 2 T oil 2 t vanilla 2 c rolled oats 1 c craisins 1/2 c almonds 1/2 c bittersweet chocolate chips Beat sugar, honey, and peanut butter together. Blend in eggs and egg whites, oil, and vanilla.  Mix in flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt.  Stir in oats, craisins, almonds, and chocolate.  Bake in 9x13 pan at 350 for about 20 min.

Sometimes I learn as I go...God doesn't always tell me whether what I say or do is right or wrong before I say or do it.  He lets me find out for myself. I woke up this morning at 3 am and had a horrible feeling inside. Like I hurt someone.  It grieved me.  I laid there in the night and let God speak to me.  This was His time to teach me.  He was telling me that even though I'm a transparent person, I don't always have to be here.  He was referring to a couple posts back.  This is the hard part...He told me that my dad was having a good day and I burst his bubble a bit. :(  Not, what I wanted to hear.  He said I should have kept my lesson in discontentment privately this time. Ouch. Of course, the girl I am cried.  It's hard to learn something as you go and I realize I don't always have to share what I've learned when it could hurt someone's feelings... especially someone you love dearly. This blog has been filled with lots of emotions, trials, life, lo

Contentment is such a pleasant sounding word.  It conjures pictures of green meadows, trickling stream, peacefulness, and calm serenity.Contentment is a place where all your needs are cared for.  It sounds like fantasy doesn't it?  Is this for real? I'm here to tell you "yes, contentment is real and it's possible".  The apostle Paul talked about this contentment in Philippians 4:10-12 when he said “have learned in whatever state I am, to be content”. I know this place exists, for I myself have been there from time to time. What do you mean you've been there from time to time?  Aren’t you content? Yes and no, I can let the contentment go by allowing many things to tempt me to step out of contentment, just like you. What things interfere with contentment?  How about stress, anxiety, worry, striving, jealousy, greed, envy, bitterness, angry, fear, insecurity, or uneasiness?  (See 2 Corinthians 12:19-21, Galatians 5:19-21) Contentment for me is

Who would of thought that I would get an opportunity so soon to apply God's word.  I said this morning that I wanted to be less envious and be more content. I didn't know it would be my husband that I would have to fight those feelings toward.  You see, he has the opportunity to tell our dad how he feels without any fear.  He can tell him he is thankful for him and he can receive it without fear.  I, on the other hand, cannot.  So what do I do about it?  I can rejoice with my husband that he can do those things and be glad in his blessing.  God is stretching me in this area.  I just miss hearing those words that my husband is privileged to hear.  I'm human. ;)  Since I am aware of this, it helps me to realize that it's not about me.  It's about others.  And those others are important to me and I'm glad to see them happy. :)  Besides, I can tell God how I feel and pray before I go to bed at night, like I always do, and maybe God can whisper to him that I love him

After 4 days of constant pain, my migraine has finally left the building. :)  Let's pray it doesn't come a knockin' again.  It left just in time, too.  I've got a lot to do this week.  I picked under 4 bushels of apples and need to get them taken care of.  Today, I need to go volunteer at church, go to the bank, the grocery store, and then make some cider.  Tomorrow I hope to get some applesauce canned.  And somewhere in the midst of today, I need to get my house back in order.  It wasn't touched all weekend and it's a deeeesaster... My goal this week is to continue in gentleness, but also, to be a "doer" of the word instead of just a "knower".  I want to apply more of God's word this week, such as, being content, not comparing myself to others, not being envious, and being quick to listen...I'm so glad He offers us grace.

Feeling His presence today...Needing His presence always.... When I said, "My foot is slipping," Your love, O Lord, supported me. Psalm 94:18 I need Your support Lord, some days I feel too physically tired to fight.  But, fight I do, and doing things such as picking apples and gathering hickory nuts take my mind off the battle.  I am thankful for Your creation that allows me to "get away" and feel Your presence... *After I wrote this, God reminded me of a scripture He just showed me the other day...."The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14  I will be still...

I remember I was on my way to the hospital to pick up some transcription at the time. I had the radio on and I thought it was some sort of joke. Unfortunately, I was wrong. After I picked that up, I was headed to bible study. We sat around the tv and prayed and were just in shock. We all went home and held our loved ones close...

Today was a bit of a rough day...but should it have been?  Should any of our days be considered rough?  I have been in pain today and on top of that, I have another migraine. :(  I just feel weak and blah, not sick, just blah.  I don't mean to bellyache.  Really I don't.  I don't have a poor attitude or anything.  It's just been a rough day.  I just don't like to hurt constantly.  I can take pain, but it wears you down when it's ever so constant.  I know the Lord is my strength and I do lean on Him during such times.  I'm still joyful, etc.  It's just been a rough day. Lord willing, the morning will come and I will feel better again.  In the meantime, I will try to be presentable at the cookout we have to go to tonight. :)  I have joy knowing that God is working to accomplish His purposes even in difficult circumstances...

  Something the good Lord gives us all equally. We all get the exact same amount of time as everyone else in a day. 24 hours. But, sometimes it seems like some people get more or less than we do. Hmmmm. Could it be that it's what we do with the time He gives that changes our perspective on how much time we actually have in a day? "Busyness seems in our society to be a badge of honor; that we are so busy proves how important we are, but busyness is an enemy of spirituality and essentially laziness, for it is doing the easy thing instead of the hard thing. It is filling our time with our own actions instead of paying attention to God's actions." Eugene Peterson Interesting thought...What are you doing with the time God gave you?  What do you fill your day with?  Is He part of the time?  Take a look at your day. Are you too busy to enjoy the things God has made?  Are you just running here and there?  Do you need to change a few things so that you can use your

There is a spirit of disrespect in our culture. Children disrespect parents, we disrespect authorities and things that are to be held sacred. Disrespect is rampant and can be found right inside our homes if we look carefully. This is very dangerous for the Christian woman because we must be careful to show respect in all arenas---especially to those which we have been commanded. In Galations 5:33 we see that we are to respect our husbands. We have examples in the Bible of women who showed respect (Proverbs 31 woman, Sara) and those that did not (Michal, Jezebel). We must know that: How we respect our husbands is in direct correlation of how we worship God! If we do not respect our husbands, we are not obeying God and worshiping Him with our lives. Worship is a life lived out to glorify Him, not just singing on Sunday morning! We must make our husband a priority---he comes first after God. Not our children, not our agendas, not our friends, not our ministry, not

Take a look around....look up from your computer and look out the window.  What do you see?  You may say "not much, I live in the city."  But, look deeper.  There on that tree.  Do you see that bird?  He will sing if you listen.  There fluttered a butterfly by.  Did you see it?  It's beautiful with it's bright colors.  How about the neighbors flowers.  They are still blooming.  Maybe they have roses.  Oh the smell of them!  Take a walk this afternoon under the warmth of the sun and take a look.  You will be surprised at how much beauty you can see even if you happened to live in the city.  Just slow down and don't look at the houses.  Pretend they aren't there.  Look past them into His creation.  Enjoy this day!

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered … We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Does that sound familiar? Can you identify? WHY did GOD allow this? quote: But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God… If HE wants us relying on HIM, then HE must be reliable, right? quote: He has delivered … he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, (all quotes from 2Cor 1:8-11 NIV) DO you hear what I hear? past, present, and future DELIVERANCE HE cared, HE cares, HE always will care HE WAS there, HE IS there, HE always WILL BE there! ~From A Wife's Submission  It can be easy for us to "make agreements" with satan when we are suffering. We can think God has forgotten us, He is angry with us, or He just doesn't care. Don't do it! Don't give satan the satisfaction of the agreement.  God

I went to go for my endometrial biopsy today and since we decided to have surgery sooner than January, she decided to do it while I'm in the OR. I will have surgery on Sept 30th. If the biopsy comes back cancer in the uterus and not just the cervix, then they will have to do an abdominal hysterectomy to take some lymph nodes. I pray this is not the case. If it stayed in the cervix then it will be a laporoscopic hysterectomy, which is minimally invasive. The recovery is much better. I will be so glad to start feeling better. She did say the ultrasound showed the lining of my uterus to be thick, but hoping that's no big deal. I am thankful for all your prayers. Please continue to pray that the cancer has not spread and that my recovery will be quick. I am thankful for the doctor God has put in my life that cares about her patients. I am thankful for those who have prayed for me to have peace. I was full of peace this morning as I headed out for the biopsy. The words &

It is such a nice day here. :) The sun is shining and it's warm. :) It was a nice day to go to the store. I usually dread it but I was glad to be outside. It's nice to have a long weekend with the captain. We got some cleaning done around here with some help of friends. Tomorrow we are going to do some target shooting. :) We always like to try and see how much better we can do. It will be good to have some fun before I go in for my biopsy Tuesday. I'll be glad to get that over. :) Still not sure when surgery will be. The decision will be made Tuesday if not before. I hope as summer winds down, you will have more time to enjoy this time of year. I know things can get busy in the summer. Fall is the perfect time to slow down and enjoy the fresh air, turning leaves, pumpkin pies, caramel apples (mmmm), and bonfires. :) I'm glad I get to enjoy the changing seasons. I pray I get to enjoy many more seasons. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately...I often wo

"I am sadly concerned that thousands of mothers are so over-burdened that the actual demands of life from day to day consume all their time and strength. But of two evils, choose the lesser: which would you call the lesser--an unpolished stove or an untaught boy? Dirty windows, or a child whose confidence you have failed to gain? Cobwebs in the corner, or a son over whose soul a crust has formed, so strong that you despair of melting it with your hot tears and fervent prayers? I have seen a woman who was absolutely ignorant of her children's habits of thought, who never felt that she could spare a half-hour to read or talk with them--I have seen this woman spend ten minutes in ironing a sheet, or forty minutes icing a cake for tea, because company was expected. When the mother, a good orthodox Christian, shall appear before the Great White Throne to be judged for the "deeds done in the body," and to give her report of the master's treasures placed i

I'm the mom of a teenager! 13 years ago today we were blessed with an 8 lb 7 oz son. :) I'm so glad God decided to entrust us with such a sweet boy. The doctors didn't think I'd be able to carry him and told me not to get my hopes up. They said I was too weak. I protected that little guy while I carried him. At five months along, when I felt him kick, I suddenly knew that God was going to allow me to carry him just fine. Even when I went preterm labor at 7 mos, I knew he would be ok. They stopped it and then he waited too long and they had to induce me. ;) He came screaming with strong lungs. It was difficult for me to deliver him and I did it all natural with no pain medicine, but it was worth it. I loved being pregnant. I'm so glad God blessed us with him knowing he was going to be our only one we could have. He has a heart for others and cares about other people's feelings. He is very smart. :) He is kind and loving and sweet. I pray he allows

It's raining today here in central Illinois. The captain is patiently waiting to see if the rain is going to stop so he can go on to work. Hunter and I were going to go to the zoo this morning, but not sure if that is going to work out. We are heading down to Arthur this afternoon with a friend to get some supplies. It's hard to believe it's already September and the holiday season will soon be upon us. It's a time of year that I really enjoy. The smells, the tastes, the fellowship, and the crisp air. God continues to draw us closer to Him. He keeps reminding us that He is all we need, to keep things simple. I think back to times since past and try to learn from them. People were hardworking, kind, neighborly, patriotic to their country, family oriented, etc. There are people like this today, but it seems more rare. Today it seems people are more about careers, being selfish, don't spend time with their kids, and could care less about soldiers. I remembe

God's provision is not based on "karma" (works). If you have a bad day it's not because you did something wrong. The man who built his house on the rock did everything right, but the storm came anyway. Suffering isn't random. It is allowed by God and He has a purpose/plan. Karma is believing what you do, whether good or bad, comes back to you. With God, it doesn't matter if you do good works or if you don't. The storm comes either way. It rains on the just and the unjust. It's having faith in the One that makes the rain and knowing He can provide shelter if you base your life upon Him. So the next time you have a bad day, don't think it's something you did or didn't do. Don't think that you are suddenly out of God's favor. If you are His child, your standing before Him never changes. He loves you. When that bad day comes (just because), remember to lean on Him and seek shelter in His wings. I am learning so much through