Getting past things...

I find myself having a hard time at times of getting past not having a full relationship with my dad. I'm still uncomfortable with not knowing how to act or what to say and often just stand there with a blank look on my face. Today at church I was telling them how my uncle had a heart attack and because I was so uncomfortable, I smiled when I said it. Who does that? I wasn't happy my uncle had a heart attack...sigh. I can feel the tears just welling up inside me and often, almost every time, when we speak the tears are in my eyes. I feel bad for that. I don't want him to see my heart breaks because I cannot tell him I love him or because I can't hug him or because I can't hang out with him and glean advice about raising boys from him...This is something I really have to work on...it's just hard. I am thankful for the relationship we do have...at least I can talk to him about general things and see his face every Sunday. I really am thankful for that...

It's raining here today and chilly. I don't mind the rain, but I sure mind the chilliness. I love it warm. :) I have an ultrasound tomorrow afternoon and hoping that can put to rest some of the problems I've been having. It will be nice to know that nothing serious is going on....

The sermon at church today was really good. It was about loving others and getting back to the basics of what we believe as Christians. It was also about being obedient. Good stuff. :)

Hope everyone enjoys their Sunday...rest. It's what the day was created for. ;)