Good evening...
I think I got a lot done today despite my weakness. I cleaned the chicken coop, which took 7 trips to the garden with the wheelbarrow. That tuckered me out and caused some shaky weakness, but I'm feeling better. Taking Hunter to his first meeting at a camera club. He's pretty excited about that. He has struggled with the past events with confusion and sadness. Poor guy is praying all the time for him to have a grandpa again. I keep telling him if it's the Lord's will...He seems in better spirits today...
It is hard not knowing how my dad feels. I can't talk to him. I don't even know if I should be calling him that anymore to myself. I don't know if he even wants me anymore due to the circumstances. I don't know how he feels in his heart about it all. That's the hard part. I know in my heart he will always be my dad even if it comes to him not being able to anymore. I would be happy with any relationship I could have with him. I'm praying it's not severed forever....if it's the Lord's will. (have to tell myself that, too) I miss him. :(
Tomorrow I hope to get the laundry put up and relax most of the day. Saturday we are having dinner guests and I don't want to be totally wiped out when they're here. I did get good sleep last night so that's a start of getting more energy back. I trust in the Lord and because of this "loss" I am able to know that I actually do trust Him. Not just feel like I do or would. I do. But, you know what's hard? Waiting...but wait, I shall...
"He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." Psalm 112:7
It is hard not knowing how my dad feels. I can't talk to him. I don't even know if I should be calling him that anymore to myself. I don't know if he even wants me anymore due to the circumstances. I don't know how he feels in his heart about it all. That's the hard part. I know in my heart he will always be my dad even if it comes to him not being able to anymore. I would be happy with any relationship I could have with him. I'm praying it's not severed forever....if it's the Lord's will. (have to tell myself that, too) I miss him. :(
Tomorrow I hope to get the laundry put up and relax most of the day. Saturday we are having dinner guests and I don't want to be totally wiped out when they're here. I did get good sleep last night so that's a start of getting more energy back. I trust in the Lord and because of this "loss" I am able to know that I actually do trust Him. Not just feel like I do or would. I do. But, you know what's hard? Waiting...but wait, I shall...
"He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." Psalm 112:7
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