Unknowingly discontent...

This week has been an interesting one for me.  God has been revealing to me quite a bit about contentment.  I honestly thought I was a content person.  But, God has been showing me that I have only been content with His creation.  I didn't realize that I was discontent with so many things.  It really saddens me to think how ungrateful I have been with what He has provided.  I was finding that I wished that I was stronger, that our yard looked nicer, that my body would feel good, that my husband was more gentle and attentive, that my son made more effort in things, that I was in better shape like my friends, that I had a relationship with my dad that was "normal", better finances, great weather all the time, etc, etc....What a fool I am.  I realized when yesterday was such a pretty day and I found content it that, that I was putting my contentment in "things" and not Him.  I wondered to myself if it were raining would I be just as content.  Well, I want to say yes, but I'm afraid that answer would have been no.  But, it's something I am working on.  I know true contentment is found only in Christ.  When we focus our contentment on Him, then all the other things don't affect our mood or contentment. It seems like I always want things to be better than they are, but what if they are supposed to be just the way they are and I am to learn to be content with how God has supplied?  I cannot change situations.  I can only change how I respond to them. I can only change me.  


I have been praying that God would forgive me for my discontentment.  I have been thanking Him for what He has provided and starting to look at all my situations with contentment. Paul said in Philipians that he learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I am learning...


Here is a scripture that reminds me a bit of my situation. 


"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it.  I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."

Paul is not saying this because he needs someone to express their concern. He is content whether they do or not...a place I'd like to be...Although I am truly grateful when someone is concerned for me because they love me.  God wants us to love each other and be there for each other.  But, it's not something I should need to be content.  I can pray for God to move in the situation, whatever it may be, and be content with whatever He decides I need.  This is where growing up in the Lord is hard.  There is still that struggle in me with what that "little girl" wants and what God is willing to give...searching to find contentment in it all. God is working...