Lesson 16 on biblical submission...
This is the second to last lesson from Sunny that we have. I appreciate her doing these studies and being able to pass them along to you. :) They are very thought provoking and challenging.
Homework:
Proverbs 31:23 - The Crown of Her Husband
This Scripture-picture was lovingly created by
Lori @ I Will Take It Lord, All You Have to Give.
Lori @ I Will Take It Lord, All You Have to Give.
Much like our previous study on Proverbs 31:22, this verse seems a bit out of place, doesn't it? In our last lesson, we had to stop and consider why this wonderfully, biblically submissive woman, that is so priceless and precious in the sight of the LORD God Almighty, would only provide bed coverings for herself. But after we began to meditate on God's word and turned up our Holy Spirit "hearing aids", we could hear Him gently explain to us how it is that a woman of such noble character is covered: first by the blood of Jesus, the Son of God; second, by the seal of the Holy Spirit until the day of Redemption; and third, by her earthly husband, to protect her from the deceptive schemes of our enemy, the devil.
But unlike our last lesson, this one appears to carry even further away from what we've been studying up to this point. How is it that an acrostic poem about such an excellent woman, included an accolade regarding a man, her husband?
For those of you, who have steadfastly traveled with me thus far on the road to biblical submission; probably already have a keen sense of what God plans to teach us at this junction.
So let's get out the Sword of the Spirit, our pens, colored pencils, and/or our archival quality highlighters and get ready for a beautiful stroll with our Lord and Father in Heaven!
To get a glimpse of what we’ll be studying today, take a good look at the Scripture-picture our sister Lori created for us. Tell me what you see. This is what I see:
Before you read on, I would like to ask you to stop for a moment and pray. Ask God to reveal to you, what He wants you to see in the above Scripture-picture. After you’ve prayed and listened intently to the Holy Spirit, jot down what He told you, so you’ll be prepared to receive what He desires to reveal to you.
At this time, I’d like to direct you to an excerpt from a sermon John Piper gave on Sunday, May 10, 1981 that brings some light as to why verse 23 was included in an acrostic poem about an incredibly godly woman, who fears and loves the Lord.
What our brother John Piper said about his wife Noël, is what every man who is married to a daughter of the King, should be able to say about his wife. Has my husband always been able to say this about me? Absolutely not! During the first years of our marriage, I was a very strong-willed, opinionated, Pharisaical, loud and boisterous woman who demanded to be heard, respected, romanced and highly esteemed! Okay, I know you want to laugh, and you can. Believe me, I do. When I remember how ungodly I behaved, yet expected to be well-loved and cherished, it really makes me laugh. I was basically questioning why my husband couldn't and wouldn't snuggle up to a thornbush! This only confirms that when someone is not walking with God and disobedient to His commands, they are completely illogical and out of their minds. I can say this with assurance because, as you can see, I’ve been there.
I’ve said this before and I will say it again; you will never know and appreciate how sweet, sweet is, unless you’ve tasted sour.
With this in mind, I’m going to do something a little bit different with you today. I’m going to give you a little break from thinking you’re a horrible mess, by allowing you to see what a horrible mess really looks like. You have all been working so hard up to this point; bearing your souls, naked before God and confessing your sins so that we might pray for one another and be healed of our sickness: the desire to rule over our husbands.
I think the most appropriate and beneficial thing I can teach you today is what a contentious, unsubmissive wife looks like. Not just on the outside (because she may look quite “holy” on the outside). But I want to give you a glimpse of the heart of the most contentious, unruly, merciless woman I have ever personally known. I know that she will gladly allow you to view the deep recesses of her heart in the hopes that you will be so utterly repulsed by it, you will not venture that way yourselves and will run to our Savior with every breath you have at even the slightest likeness of becoming what she once was. This woman was once truly, the epitome of a modern day Eve.
I have her permission to share a personal journal entry in what she has affectionately called her “complaint journal”. No, not a prayer journal; a complaint journal. She was such a horrid woman, that at some point, knew it, and thereby had a complaint journal in which she journaled all her complaints to God, her Father, about all the things in life that irked her. She was sure that she was pretty much as close to perfect as humanly possible and was constantly annoyed that others were so blind they could not see this truth themselves. Doesn’t she sound like someone you’d want to quickly make friends with? I think not! At one point in her life, she even bought a book entitled: The Perfect Christian by Tony Evans because she was sure, not only might she be mentioned in the book (although she didn’t know the author), but also thought the book must be about someone like her! It’s amazing how arrogant we allow ourselves to become. I’m sure we can all say we’ve thought similar things – we just don’t want everyone else to know about it.
Before I share the journal entry she wrote, she wants to make sure that you understand where her heart was and what she was thinking at the time she wrote this. You see, she’d been praying for years for God to change her husband. She wanted God to make her husband into a man who was worthy of her. But after four years of praying this and receiving no answer from God, she changed her prayer for the next two years. She felt he was “dead weight” and was holding her back from her potential to becoming the most holy and perfect woman alive.
Finally, after two years of praying of praying a "new" way and still not getting any response from God, she wrote the following entry in her complaint journal. She wanted God to change her husband or get rid of him, and she wanted it to happen now! By this time, they had two sons and she did not want them to grow up, learning to be such ungodly men as she believed her husband to be.
Before you read this, I want to point something out to you. In the second paragraph, she writes, “I know I can’t change anyone, but You can.” She is referring to God changing her husband. I want you to see how our awesome God changed this bitter and ungodly woman’s heart, from that sentence to the next.
November 22, 1998
It is 8:10 a.m. and I am as sad and lost as can be. You’d think I was dragged through a long day, but I haven’t. I just feel like I have although it is early in the morning.
Lord, where do I go from here? I know I can’t change anyone, but I know You can. So change me, Father. Guide me to be less human, and more godly. Help me to “pursue righteousness and love” so that I may find “life, prosperity and honor.” (Proverbs 21:21)
Lord, I have so many wants and expectations. Why? Why do I? Could You, Father, create in me a new heart that works hard and expects nothing? So that I may turn from anger and hostility against those who give little? Lord if You create in me a new heart and mind that is completely focused on You and not myself, I know I will have fewer disappointments in my life here.
Guide me O Father, regardless of circumstances, to always be a good witness and example of Your love, power, grace, wisdom and righteousness. May I spend the rest of today, and every day (one day at a time) focused on my Lord and Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
I know You know sweet, loving Father, that through my Savior, Your Son, Christ Jesus, You fully understand what it is to love and give so much with no or little return of it back. I know Jesus has walked more than a mile in my shoes. He did nothing wrong and EVERYTHING righteous and Godly, yet He was beaten, mocked and crucified, so that my life…my eternal life could see Your Glory. Oh Father forgive me for my selfishness and complaining. Release me O Lord of my natural want to complain and grumble of all that I do not have, and place in me a supernatural want to serve, love, persevere and to be humble in all and every situation. I love You Lord with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind. Use me today Father for You.
Praise be to the One and Only God through my Christ, Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. AMEN”
WOW! Is our God awesome or what?! Who would ever believe that such a horrid, filthy woman could ever be cleansed and made whole again – only in and through Christ’s love was this possible. Who was this woman? It was me.
Why did God change my heart in an instance, after six excruciating years living rebelliously out of His good and perfect will? Because at this point in my life, I had emptied myself, of myself. Although my thinking was still in error, God saw my heart; broken and willing to receive whatever it was that He desired to give me. That day, the Lord of Hosts rebuked me and disciplined me. And when I could not stand, due to enormous shame, He held out His hand and lifted me out of my miry pit and set my feet upon the Rock (Psalm 40:2). He comforted me and reminded me that now, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1-2). But only hope, and the truth that we are all unworthy wretches, deserving of eternal damnation in Hell, but it is finished. Jesus Christ took the shame of my sins and He nailed them to the Cross. O glorious God, who is abounding in compassion, who will not deal with us according to our iniquities, but mercifully grants us the everlasting life in His eternal Kingdom! This is why we praise Him!
This is why I can share this for all the world to see. Do I like who I was? No. Do I have guilt and shame over it? No. Why? Because I believe my Father God’s word that says that He has forgiven me and will refine me through and through, conforming me into the likeness of His brilliant Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Do I have regret over this? Yes! This is why I and others who are committed to our Savior, sin less. Christians are not sinless, we just sin less – and less, and less, until the Day of Redemption (1 John 3:6-9 and 1 John 5:18-20).
What happened after that day? Well, God not only opened my heart, but He opened my eyes as well, and I saw my husband, like I’d never seen him before. He was the man I’d been praying for. I was just too blind to see it because the mirror I was looking at, only pointed to me – and I could see no one else; the imperfections I thought I was seeing in my husband, turned out to be the imperfections in me. God is compassionate, merciful and gracious, even to the wicked and ungrateful. I know, I’ve been and sometimes still am, the wicked and ungrateful. Yet our faithful Father God restores me, every time I seek Him with a humble heart.
So why did I notice the gate; the pure, white snow; and that they were both facing the sun? Because this is what God has done for me and I can’t help but see my life, the way He sees it. Jesus Christ is the Gate I must enter – the Gate that was broken and opened, so that I might find eternal life and salvation. And as I came to Jesus, filthy, unworthy, yet repentant, He washed my sins, with His precious blood; as white as snow. And now, both my flesh and my spirit can face the Son and drink from the Living Water, so that I may never thirst again.
I pray that you learn from my sin, and run far from it. I know for certain our God is a mighty God. He is awesome and there is no sin you or I can, or have ever committed, that is too great for Him to forgive and cleanse you from. God took me from being a woman who was a snare to my husband, to a woman he now wears proudly as his crown, his jewel, his greatest earthly treasure; all because our King Jesus is refining me, so that I am free to shine His glory!
But unlike our last lesson, this one appears to carry even further away from what we've been studying up to this point. How is it that an acrostic poem about such an excellent woman, included an accolade regarding a man, her husband?
For those of you, who have steadfastly traveled with me thus far on the road to biblical submission; probably already have a keen sense of what God plans to teach us at this junction.
So let's get out the Sword of the Spirit, our pens, colored pencils, and/or our archival quality highlighters and get ready for a beautiful stroll with our Lord and Father in Heaven!
To get a glimpse of what we’ll be studying today, take a good look at the Scripture-picture our sister Lori created for us. Tell me what you see. This is what I see:
- A Gate;
- Pure, white snow;
- Both, facing the sun
Before you read on, I would like to ask you to stop for a moment and pray. Ask God to reveal to you, what He wants you to see in the above Scripture-picture. After you’ve prayed and listened intently to the Holy Spirit, jot down what He told you, so you’ll be prepared to receive what He desires to reveal to you.
At this time, I’d like to direct you to an excerpt from a sermon John Piper gave on Sunday, May 10, 1981 that brings some light as to why verse 23 was included in an acrostic poem about an incredibly godly woman, who fears and loves the Lord.
“Verse 23 seems out of place in a song of praise to women. It says, "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land." How is that a word of praise to the wife who fears the Lord? Proverbs 12:4 gives the answer: "A good wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is the rottenness of his bones." A wife who fears the Lord increases the esteem of her husband at the gates of the city. In twelve and a half years of marriage my wife has never done or said anything in public that would have caused me to be ashamed. She has my absolute trust as a representative of what our family stands for. There is no place I might go where I would be ashamed to take Noël. She is a crown to my head and a signet ring on my right hand. She is for me 100% because she is a woman who fears the Lord. And I pray that every wife here will, under God, give that kind of support to your husband.”
What our brother John Piper said about his wife Noël, is what every man who is married to a daughter of the King, should be able to say about his wife. Has my husband always been able to say this about me? Absolutely not! During the first years of our marriage, I was a very strong-willed, opinionated, Pharisaical, loud and boisterous woman who demanded to be heard, respected, romanced and highly esteemed! Okay, I know you want to laugh, and you can. Believe me, I do. When I remember how ungodly I behaved, yet expected to be well-loved and cherished, it really makes me laugh. I was basically questioning why my husband couldn't and wouldn't snuggle up to a thornbush! This only confirms that when someone is not walking with God and disobedient to His commands, they are completely illogical and out of their minds. I can say this with assurance because, as you can see, I’ve been there.
Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.
~ Proverbs 28:26
I’ve said this before and I will say it again; you will never know and appreciate how sweet, sweet is, unless you’ve tasted sour.
With this in mind, I’m going to do something a little bit different with you today. I’m going to give you a little break from thinking you’re a horrible mess, by allowing you to see what a horrible mess really looks like. You have all been working so hard up to this point; bearing your souls, naked before God and confessing your sins so that we might pray for one another and be healed of our sickness: the desire to rule over our husbands.
I think the most appropriate and beneficial thing I can teach you today is what a contentious, unsubmissive wife looks like. Not just on the outside (because she may look quite “holy” on the outside). But I want to give you a glimpse of the heart of the most contentious, unruly, merciless woman I have ever personally known. I know that she will gladly allow you to view the deep recesses of her heart in the hopes that you will be so utterly repulsed by it, you will not venture that way yourselves and will run to our Savior with every breath you have at even the slightest likeness of becoming what she once was. This woman was once truly, the epitome of a modern day Eve.
I have her permission to share a personal journal entry in what she has affectionately called her “complaint journal”. No, not a prayer journal; a complaint journal. She was such a horrid woman, that at some point, knew it, and thereby had a complaint journal in which she journaled all her complaints to God, her Father, about all the things in life that irked her. She was sure that she was pretty much as close to perfect as humanly possible and was constantly annoyed that others were so blind they could not see this truth themselves. Doesn’t she sound like someone you’d want to quickly make friends with? I think not! At one point in her life, she even bought a book entitled: The Perfect Christian by Tony Evans because she was sure, not only might she be mentioned in the book (although she didn’t know the author), but also thought the book must be about someone like her! It’s amazing how arrogant we allow ourselves to become. I’m sure we can all say we’ve thought similar things – we just don’t want everyone else to know about it.
Before I share the journal entry she wrote, she wants to make sure that you understand where her heart was and what she was thinking at the time she wrote this. You see, she’d been praying for years for God to change her husband. She wanted God to make her husband into a man who was worthy of her. But after four years of praying this and receiving no answer from God, she changed her prayer for the next two years. She felt he was “dead weight” and was holding her back from her potential to becoming the most holy and perfect woman alive.
Finally, after two years of praying of praying a "new" way and still not getting any response from God, she wrote the following entry in her complaint journal. She wanted God to change her husband or get rid of him, and she wanted it to happen now! By this time, they had two sons and she did not want them to grow up, learning to be such ungodly men as she believed her husband to be.
Before you read this, I want to point something out to you. In the second paragraph, she writes, “I know I can’t change anyone, but You can.” She is referring to God changing her husband. I want you to see how our awesome God changed this bitter and ungodly woman’s heart, from that sentence to the next.
November 22, 1998
It is 8:10 a.m. and I am as sad and lost as can be. You’d think I was dragged through a long day, but I haven’t. I just feel like I have although it is early in the morning.
Lord, where do I go from here? I know I can’t change anyone, but I know You can. So change me, Father. Guide me to be less human, and more godly. Help me to “pursue righteousness and love” so that I may find “life, prosperity and honor.” (Proverbs 21:21)
Lord, I have so many wants and expectations. Why? Why do I? Could You, Father, create in me a new heart that works hard and expects nothing? So that I may turn from anger and hostility against those who give little? Lord if You create in me a new heart and mind that is completely focused on You and not myself, I know I will have fewer disappointments in my life here.
Guide me O Father, regardless of circumstances, to always be a good witness and example of Your love, power, grace, wisdom and righteousness. May I spend the rest of today, and every day (one day at a time) focused on my Lord and Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
I know You know sweet, loving Father, that through my Savior, Your Son, Christ Jesus, You fully understand what it is to love and give so much with no or little return of it back. I know Jesus has walked more than a mile in my shoes. He did nothing wrong and EVERYTHING righteous and Godly, yet He was beaten, mocked and crucified, so that my life…my eternal life could see Your Glory. Oh Father forgive me for my selfishness and complaining. Release me O Lord of my natural want to complain and grumble of all that I do not have, and place in me a supernatural want to serve, love, persevere and to be humble in all and every situation. I love You Lord with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind. Use me today Father for You.
Praise be to the One and Only God through my Christ, Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. AMEN”
WOW! Is our God awesome or what?! Who would ever believe that such a horrid, filthy woman could ever be cleansed and made whole again – only in and through Christ’s love was this possible. Who was this woman? It was me.
Why did God change my heart in an instance, after six excruciating years living rebelliously out of His good and perfect will? Because at this point in my life, I had emptied myself, of myself. Although my thinking was still in error, God saw my heart; broken and willing to receive whatever it was that He desired to give me. That day, the Lord of Hosts rebuked me and disciplined me. And when I could not stand, due to enormous shame, He held out His hand and lifted me out of my miry pit and set my feet upon the Rock (Psalm 40:2). He comforted me and reminded me that now, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1-2). But only hope, and the truth that we are all unworthy wretches, deserving of eternal damnation in Hell, but it is finished. Jesus Christ took the shame of my sins and He nailed them to the Cross. O glorious God, who is abounding in compassion, who will not deal with us according to our iniquities, but mercifully grants us the everlasting life in His eternal Kingdom! This is why we praise Him!
"The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to His children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust."
~ Psalm 103:8-14
This is why I can share this for all the world to see. Do I like who I was? No. Do I have guilt and shame over it? No. Why? Because I believe my Father God’s word that says that He has forgiven me and will refine me through and through, conforming me into the likeness of His brilliant Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Do I have regret over this? Yes! This is why I and others who are committed to our Savior, sin less. Christians are not sinless, we just sin less – and less, and less, until the Day of Redemption (1 John 3:6-9 and 1 John 5:18-20).
What happened after that day? Well, God not only opened my heart, but He opened my eyes as well, and I saw my husband, like I’d never seen him before. He was the man I’d been praying for. I was just too blind to see it because the mirror I was looking at, only pointed to me – and I could see no one else; the imperfections I thought I was seeing in my husband, turned out to be the imperfections in me. God is compassionate, merciful and gracious, even to the wicked and ungrateful. I know, I’ve been and sometimes still am, the wicked and ungrateful. Yet our faithful Father God restores me, every time I seek Him with a humble heart.
So why did I notice the gate; the pure, white snow; and that they were both facing the sun? Because this is what God has done for me and I can’t help but see my life, the way He sees it. Jesus Christ is the Gate I must enter – the Gate that was broken and opened, so that I might find eternal life and salvation. And as I came to Jesus, filthy, unworthy, yet repentant, He washed my sins, with His precious blood; as white as snow. And now, both my flesh and my spirit can face the Son and drink from the Living Water, so that I may never thirst again.
I pray that you learn from my sin, and run far from it. I know for certain our God is a mighty God. He is awesome and there is no sin you or I can, or have ever committed, that is too great for Him to forgive and cleanse you from. God took me from being a woman who was a snare to my husband, to a woman he now wears proudly as his crown, his jewel, his greatest earthly treasure; all because our King Jesus is refining me, so that I am free to shine His glory!
I’d like to close this lesson with the chorus from the Casting Crowns’ song entitled: In Me.
“ ‘Cause when I’m weak, You make me strong
When I’m blind, You shine Your light on me
‘Cause I’ll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to now You don’t need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I’ll stand on Your truth, and I’ll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me.”
When I’m blind, You shine Your light on me
‘Cause I’ll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to now You don’t need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I’ll stand on Your truth, and I’ll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me.”
Homework:
- Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to all the Scriptures our Father wants you to see, to turn you from the desires of your flesh, and also to restore you in His love.
- Continue with your next day in your Love Dare Journal. Please do not stop, please do not take this lightly and please do not linger on one day too long. I've heard some people (not in our study) saying because patience is so hard for them, they'll wait until they get that mastered before they move on. Then they share it's been three weeks, since they've started, then laugh. It is different if you're actively working on a certain sin issue with God, but it is quite another to lightly consider your marriage and how it looks in the sight of our holy and awesome God.
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