Wandering...

Have you ever felt like you were wandering in the desert?  I can honestly say that I feel like I have been wandering for some time.  Almost as if I were sleep walking.  I have packed so much information in my head on how to be a good wife, mother, and Christian woman.  But, it seems as if I have been wandering in the desert with the information.  I feel like God is waking me up and telling me it's time to really, truly apply all I have learned and that it is time to stop wandering.

Let me tell you...it's overwhelming.  It's very difficult to truly apply certain godly principles in your life.  The main one for me (as most of you already know) is contentment.  My husband has noticed that I am very hard on myself.  I am very discontent with myself a lot of the time.  Even tonight, I was very discouraged to discover I forgot the mozzarella for tonights pizza.  All we have is cheddar.  I became disappointed in myself that I wasn't more careful to remember the cheese at the store. That is just one example of my discontentment with myself. My husband has taken me aside and really had a deep conversation with me about truth.  It helped a lot.  But, it won't go very far unless I apply.  Oh how I need encouragement to keep on keepin' on in the application department.  I will try and apply something and do well, but then I slip and complain about something or become  upset with myself about something.  I put a lot of pressure on myself and in turn my family.

So I am on the road to application and following the trail out of the desert.  I am thankful for my high school sweetheart who truly loves me.  He is guiding me proper and is being gentle and sincere about it.  I am very blessed with such a man.  I am going to listen and take his advice in certain matters knowing he has my best interest at heart....to become a content, happy, virtuous woman.

If you see me on the trail heading out of the desert and I look weary, throw me a bottle of water...it may be a long walk...