Disheartened...
We had my brother and his girlfriend over for supper last night. It was good catching up with him since I hadn't seen him since soon after my dad was killed. I could see through his weak smile that he was hurting inside. He said he feels so lost since our dad died. He was just starting to build some deeper trust with him and then he suddenly was killed. I think it has left a hole in him.
He said he had talked to our real dad after his heart attack. I asked him if he had mentioned me at all, and he said no he never asked about me. :( I don't know why I thought maybe he would have asked my brother how I have been or something. I just thought maybe....
The most disheartening part of the evening though was my brother telling me he doesn't believe in God anymore. That he doesn't believe in anything. That we only exist here and there is no God or devil. He said no one could answer his questions he had and said people just say we will never fully understand God, blah, blah, blah. He said the bible was just a bunch of stories and there are other gods like Zeus, etc...He is very mixed up. I told him we would have to get together again soon and I will answer his questions, but he has to keep an open mind. He agreed to that, but said it won't change how he feels and that he has felt this way for years. Sigh. His girlfriend is a believer, but won't claim to be a Christian right now because she is living in sin blatantly and doesn't want to be a hypocrite. But, she still believes. She is a very sweet girl and I'm glad my brother has her. I invited them to church Sunday and they will come if not for only this Sunday though. She may come without him. God only knows. I asked my mom if she was coming and she said she wasn't sure that she might be doing something. Sheesh. Just a disheartening night in that aspect.
We did have fun shooting my crossbow and just talking in general. Him and Hunter hit golf balls out back and had fun doing that. When I took them home, he showed me some of his music. He sings and does different things on the keyboard. It would play different instruments, like a fiddle ;), and could mix them together and such. Kinda neat.
I know I just need to be in prayer for him and I will be. But, it hurts to watch your family on the edge of an abyss....
There are a lot of emotions running through me.
He said he had talked to our real dad after his heart attack. I asked him if he had mentioned me at all, and he said no he never asked about me. :( I don't know why I thought maybe he would have asked my brother how I have been or something. I just thought maybe....
The most disheartening part of the evening though was my brother telling me he doesn't believe in God anymore. That he doesn't believe in anything. That we only exist here and there is no God or devil. He said no one could answer his questions he had and said people just say we will never fully understand God, blah, blah, blah. He said the bible was just a bunch of stories and there are other gods like Zeus, etc...He is very mixed up. I told him we would have to get together again soon and I will answer his questions, but he has to keep an open mind. He agreed to that, but said it won't change how he feels and that he has felt this way for years. Sigh. His girlfriend is a believer, but won't claim to be a Christian right now because she is living in sin blatantly and doesn't want to be a hypocrite. But, she still believes. She is a very sweet girl and I'm glad my brother has her. I invited them to church Sunday and they will come if not for only this Sunday though. She may come without him. God only knows. I asked my mom if she was coming and she said she wasn't sure that she might be doing something. Sheesh. Just a disheartening night in that aspect.
We did have fun shooting my crossbow and just talking in general. Him and Hunter hit golf balls out back and had fun doing that. When I took them home, he showed me some of his music. He sings and does different things on the keyboard. It would play different instruments, like a fiddle ;), and could mix them together and such. Kinda neat.
I know I just need to be in prayer for him and I will be. But, it hurts to watch your family on the edge of an abyss....
There are a lot of emotions running through me.
Which brother? How are your brothers? They were always so cute and... Of course that was funny YEARS ago when they were shorter than us...LOL
ReplyDeleteThat's hard to hear for sure. Andy Stanley recently did some sermons explaining that adults believe lots of other things without understanding exactly how they work (elevators, cars, etc.) - why do they feel they need to have all the answers before they believe in God? It's a funny thing to those of us who believe.
ReplyDeleteWill be praying for your brother. I know personally how hard it is to love the Lord so much, and watch your family flounder without Him...
Rachel...this one I'm talking about is Tony. Greg is in California doing stuff out there. Tony has had a rough go of it after getting out of the military. He's hoping to start over here with his girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteKatie...thank you.